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By Kimara - Posted on 08 July 2008

          Okay, I know, I know…none of my “young” readers wants to think about anything as morose as their own death. Don’t blame you! But I would like to throw something out there for your consideration. Recently, I went to a memorial service for my friend’s father. (BTW this is my “pew sliding” friend, and I’m afraid her father went to his grave fearing I would somehow corrupt his daughter! I’m hoping that from his lofty aerial view he can now see I really am a decent person!) Anyway, after the service I kept telling everyone it was the nicest memorial I have ever been to. Finally, my daughter challenged me. “Exactly what makes a memorial service so great?” I thought about it then answered, “When it was over, I wished I had known him better.”


            At the service a number of people got up and spoke about the man including his daughter and his best friend.  He was portrayed as a loving family man, an honest businessman, and generous to a fault. He was an articulate and prolific letter writer, and enjoyed reading, music and gardening. But the most endearing and awe inspiring theme was not how dearly he was loved, but how universally he was respected. He did far more in this world than simply take up space…he made a difference!


            On my drive home I began to think about my own eulogy. If I were to leave this world tomorrow, what would people say about me? Have I accomplished, or am I at least on the road to accomplishing, the things I hold personally significant? I decided to sit down and write my own eulogy…what I would like to have said about me, in the distant future, when I’m gone.


My Idyllic Eulogy

            Kim was many things; a loving wife, mother and grandmother, a beloved daughter and a cherished sister. Although her circle of friends was not large, it was meaningful, and she tried her best never to let anyone down. Her greatest joy came from helping those she loved, but she continually sought to help others; sometimes monetarily, sometimes through labor, and more often than not, with a smile and kind words.

            Kim was a free spirit, unshackled by mores and trends. She danced to her own drummer and encouraged others to do the same. She went through her life with a lopsided ponytail and an overall strap sliding down her shoulder, but she never left the house without a smile. Her creativity was seen in her gardens, her cooking, her crafts and her writing. She leaves behind a series of children’s books that will be endeared by youngsters for generations to come.

            When asked what was the most important thing in her life she’d quickly respond, “My family.” And it was. She spent her life creating a home where family and friends felt welcomed and eagerly shared her expertise with others. Although she will be missed, she will long be remembered. Her life long motto was, “Life is Good”. Let’s all remember that for her today.


            So, Tim just walked into the room to see me typing and bawling. When he asked me what I was crying about, I had to admit it was my eulogy. I am such a sap! Geeze! Anyway, when reading over my eulogy, I see there are many things I’ve already accomplished. (I’ve got the whole lop sided ponytail thing down pat!) But there are other things I’ve yet to accomplish. (I haven’t written the series of children’s books, and I do need to become more involved in social outreach.) But, I’m willing to admit, I’m a work in progress so I’ll keep trying! When it’s over I would like others to be able to say, “She did far more in this world than simply take up space…she made a difference!”


The truth is that we spend every day of our lives writing our eulogies. How’s yours coming?



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In our own little ways, we can actually make a big difference. - Flemings Ultimate Garage

I have been thinking about your post all week and here are my thoughts. Eulogies are really about how other people see you. And how they see you after you've left (which always gives someone a rosier perspective - like you're going to say after someone died how stubborn they were or something like that). So, while putting the concept of self-reflection into the context of a eulogy is a thought-provoking way to think of things, I think it's only the tip of the iceberg. How do you see yourself? How do other people see you today? How do you wish to be seen? Are you living your life the way you want to live it? Are there things that you would regret if you died tomorrow? Are you Happy? Taking a bit of time for some introspection can be a good thing. Thanks for the thought-provoking post!

I've got to believe our "Idyllic Eulogy" will change over time. Going through a rough parenting phase right now. If I had to write my own idyllic eulogy it would be simple.

"She didn't totally screw up her kids."

Today, I'd settle for that!


Thanks for reminding me about the book Miss Rumphius. It is one of our favorite books. I added it to the Amazon links...and I'll get right on those children books :)

I can't help but think of the children's book, "Miss Rumphius" by Barbara Cooney.

Card catalog description
As a child Great-aunt Alice Rumphius resolved that when she grew up she would go to faraway places, live by the sea in her old age, and do something to make the world more beautiful--and she does all those things, the last being the most difficult of all.

I do think that last bit is the hardest. Making the world more beautiful. I'm still working on the necessities of getting through the day with 3 young kiddos but as the kids get a bit older I want get more involved in service projects as a family.

I hope you do write those children's books!

Thought provoking. I want to make a difference, just haven't figured out quite how to do it yet. But I will!

I understand why you cried. I'm a total sap, too. I do this totally insane thing of thinking about my kids' weddings and I blubber like a fool! I think the passage of time makes everyone a bit sad, don't you? But you make a very valid point. When we are gone will people eulogize us by saying they had an impressive portfolio or they were a hard worker and traded time spent with the family for time spent at work? I don't think so. Besides being a great mom, wife, daughter and friend, I'd also like my eulogy to include something I've done with my artistic abilities. I think if I spend some time thinking about what I'd like to leave behind it might give me some direction now. At the very least I want to leave behind something special for each of my children. Maybe a book, maybe a painting, or maybe passing down my talents to them. All worth thinking about. Thanks, Kim. Not only is this something to think about this week, but something to keep in the back of my mind whenever there are major decisions to be made. Have a great week all! BTW there is something so satisfying about eating English muffins with the jam that we made! Also, your eulogy sounds so like you. It is obvious you are a warm and loving person and your family is very blessed. But you also share you life with others and you are reaching out to many people in your blog. I know you make my life brighter and challenge me to look at things differently and try different things. And if you never do write a series of children's books, you will leave behind your writing here that can be shared with your children's, children's children. I think your eulogy is coming along fine!